I have escaped the iron jungle.
I left the big city in a huff, and drove down to the Pacific Ocean, which, for all intents and purposes, never lives up to expectations.
I’m sitting at the San Dune Tavern, a small smoke-free pub in Manzanita, where I’ve altogether spent way too much time. I am sitting on patio furniture that has been brought inside. My table is grated like the grill on a barbecue. I have left Portland to clear my head and recharge my batteries, but still my life is revolving around the NBA Finals and Euro 2008. You can take the boy out of the city, but you still can’t make him sit through a baseball game on the big screen TV when
France is playing freaking Italy.
No such worries tonight, though. Basketball is no fringe interest, thank God, even in small beach towns, and other people here are actually interested in the game. The pre-game show is on, and we now see Big Phil (Jackson, not Scolari) storm out of his press conference. Yes!
Lakers, Celtics, Game 6. I want the Celtics to win for two reasons.
One, the Lakers winning another championship will just make it harder for the Blazers to get by Los Angeles in any playoff series in the next few years. Losing this series could seriously damage their confidence, and Kobe could revert to his selfish ways. Plus, we’re Blazers supporters here. We are not allowed to support L.A., even if Kevin lives there now. It doesn’t matter, and he’ll agree with me in a second.
Two, I have to go back to Portland and work on Thursday night. Thursday, as it happens, is when Game 7 is scheduled. If the series goes to seven games, I will not be able to watch it, and I will never forgive myself for not calling in sick, which, to be honest, is something I haven’t completely ruled out yet.
We'll see what happens. I should point out that I thought the Lakers would take the series in five games, and I still don’t feel comfortable completely ruling them out, simply because we haven’t seen one single great complete game from them yet. Of course, the main reason for that is because of Boston’s defense, so it’s not like a simple roll of the dice whether or not the Lakers will be clicking. And it’s not like we’ve seen a great game from Boston either. This series has been pretty mediocre, actually, in terms of game play, but I guess that’s been part of its charm. Blown leads, passive defense, sporadic moments of brilliance, clutch-time disappearances… we’ve seen it all. And I’m still ecstatic that San Antonio, Cleveland, and Detroit are playing no part.
Of course, it would benefit the league immensely if the series went seven, but the conspiracies have finally gotten out of hand. On the heels of the Donaghy revelations, Lakers supporters are claiming the league favors Boston, which reminds me of how Republicans are still claiming Barack Obama is an elitist.
Midway through one, Kobe is on fire, single-handedly keeping the game close, scoring eleven of his team’s thirteen points. The most impressive thing about Kobe is his range. He shoots 35-footers using the same form as he would a free throw. The second most impressive thing? I can completely avoid using his last name, and every single person that will ever read this will still know who I’m talking about.
There’s a guy here who’s meeting up with some of his friends. He appears to be some sort of intellectual, based on his speech and his glasses and his big laugh. Let’s call him Barry. His friends wanted to meet here because they knew the game would be on. “Apparently, there’s some big basketball game tonight?” Barry asks the waitress.
“If Boston wins, it’s the last game,” she says.
Five minutes later, his friends have arrived and they’re watching the game. Kobe hits his second three. “They’ve got to put somebody on Kobe!” he yells.
Still in the first, we see Kevin Garnett take the clipboard from Doc Rivers and explain something to PJ Brown. Easily the funniest part of the game. Incredibly, Doc has out-coached Big Phil so far, as evidenced by Phil’s insertion of Chris Mihm into the game on Sunday. Doc would never have done that. My grandma would never have done that.
As I was writing that last sentence, I swear this happened: Doc put Glen Davis into the game for the first time in this series. You can’t make this stuff up. That would be like Nate McMillan putting Raef LaFrentz into a Finals game. In short, it would not happen.
Speaking of the Blazers,
Jesus F. Christ. Even in the early-‘90s there wasn’t this level of optimism. Back then we were good, but we were getting old, and we had some severe weak spots. Now, as it stands, Sergio Rodriguez, a world champion, and James Jones, one of the best shooters in NBA history, are our
11th and 12th men.
I digress. Game 6 is still close, and I can’t concentrate when I start thinking about the Blazers – especially after four beers.
The bar is overwhelmingly pro-Boston, and we erupt when Eddie House makes it a nine-point lead midway through the second quarter. Barry is having a grand old time, laughing his deep, hearty, sophisticated laugh. Boston extends the lead to fourteen, as we’re almost at halftime. Doc Rivers has wisely went to House over Cassell, who can only play the wily veteran card for so many years.
What’s with Kobe’s disappearing act in the second quarters? Admittedly, he’s in a tough position. If he keeps shooting, he’s labeled selfish and he has “reverted to his old ways”, according to Mark Jackson. If he gives the ball up, he “needs to take over and take control of the game,” according to the same Mark Jackson, who contradicts himself as often as Rajon Rondo adjusts his headband.
Garnett makes an incredible one-handed fadeaway jumper as he’s fouled, and the crowd at the San Dune goes nuts. It’s a 23-point lead for Boston, and something tells me the Celtics are well on their way to a 17th championship.
I start talking to another old guy who’s here at the bar – his name is Warren. He has a racecar on his sweatshirt. He likes the Celtics because “all their players have real American names.” Let’s see… Paul, Kevin and Ray, against Kobe, Pau, and Lamar… yep, the Celtics are the house favorites here at the San Dune! Meanwhile, the bar is packed to the brim, and I feel confident nobody will swipe my laptop when I go to the bathroom. Still, I take it with me. You can’t take the city away from the boy…
It’s safe to say that the San Dune won’t be packed like this for the Euro Final.
I should have ordered the ribs.
Boston is still cruising, and Rivers has put in PJ Brown. I hate PJ Brown. When he played for Miami, and when I worked for the Blazers, he would have me stand next to him during the player introductions and hold a hot pack at his waist level, because he liked to warm his hands up on it. But he wouldn’t ask you; he would grab you by the arm and pull you over to him, and you’d lose your balance and fall, and he would drag you over to him, like a rag doll, or a dog on a lead. It was never the stars who treated us badly, but the role players who yearned for star status and celebrity, and to them the first step towards that end was to treat young kids like rubbish.
Kevin Garnett? Class act, all the way. Friendly, warm, genuinely interested in what you had to say. Ray Allen? Same. He called me ‘sir’ once. And these guys were All-Stars, which really gave them no more reason to act like snobs and treat you like dirt, but it was always interesting to me the players that caused us the most problems; players like PJ Brown. Brian Grant. Jason Williams.
And so on.
According to Barry, “the Celtics, I would say, are on the verge of emerging successful in this battle of brawn.”
The Celtics, by the way, are up by 31 points now. Against Boston, the Lakers have shown some glaring deficiencies that they’ll need to address. Obviously, rebounding is an issue, and even with Bynum back, they’ll need some bench support. Thankfully, for Los Angeles, the Spurs, Suns, and Mavs are getting old and irrelevant, and the teams they’ll be dealing with in the West (Portland New Orleans, Oklahoma) are inexperienced and too young. Still, my friend Sean is a Lakers supporter, and even though Portland didn’t even make the playoffs this season, he’s scared. Out of his mind.
Time for: Politics at the San Dune! Warren just said this to me: “Will the real Barack Obama please stand up?” Later: “More like Obama Bin Laden.” Sigh.
End of three, Boston up by 58. The Lakers have zero offensive rebounds. And this team beat San Antonio in five games?
Everyone at the San Dune, including me, has lost interest at this point, although we echo a resounding “Oooohhh!” after every Ray Allen three. I love that sound. He must have 8 threes by now. Talk about completely redeeming yourself.
“It’s become punitive, I do believe!” exclaims Barry. Shut up, dude.
So, we’ve some questions here. First, is Kevin Garnett now at Tim Duncan’s level, now that he has a ring? I say absolutely. I’ve always believed Garnett to be the superior player, and considering that Garnett has consistently bettered Duncan in head-to-head matchups for about ten years, I’d say its about time. Second, does this enhance or tarnish Kobe’s legacy? Kobe was positively uninspiring during the Finals, and it’s hard to avoid those eyewitness accounts that are popping up all over the place about him berating Big Phil and his teammates. ABC is pushing the “Kobe-Is-A-Great-Teammate” angle so hard that they allowed his wife and daughters to meet him in the tunnel after Game 5, a situation which he most definitely took advantage of by kissing everybody and generally behaving like a douchebag. But what happened? He couldn’t take any of the games over, as we were led to assume he could, and he didn’t create for his teammates, and to be honest, it didn’t seem like he took it seriously enough, as well as his teammates and his coach… which, as I said earlier, is
GREAT news for Blazers supporters.
Boston is leading by 41 with a minute to go. Forty-one. They are now throwing behind-the-back alleys. In a Finals game.
At least I don’t have to call in sick on Thursday.
TJH
