The good news:
Boston beat the Pistons today, bringing us one step closer to the Lakers-Celtics final that we all have been dreaming of.
The bad news:
The Finals, again, are merely a formality, as the Lakers winning another championship is what David Brent would call...
a foregone conclusion.
Ahem.
This happens all the time, though. The NBA Finals are usually one of the least interesting series in the whole playoffs. The playoff format is a broken model of inequity. Everybody knows it, and there's little chance it will change. Lately, the only people who even watch the Finals are supporters of the teams in it. Who in their right mind, besides people in Detroit and San Antonio, would waste time watching Pistons v Spurs again? Not me, and I love basketball. I probably wouldn't watch one game. If it went to Game 7, maybe I would watch it, if that night's 60 Minutes started to drag a bit.
Anyways, great win for LA last night. Brent Barry obviously got fouled at the end of the game, and the refs didn't call it and the Spurs lost. Again, a great win. It's pretty weird being a Lakers supporter all of a sudden, for obvious reasons, but as I've been saying all year, it's not hard to like this Lakers team. What's changed? Besides the obvious personnel movement, Kobe has started to play and act like the underdog, which endears him to people like me. If there's a basketball or soccer game on, and I don't know much about the teams playing, I will support the underdog no matter what. I don't even care if a team has rad jerseys; if they're the favorites, they're the enemy. Plain and simple.
After the rape charge nonsense, Kobe turned into the underdog. The world was against him. His mugshot graced Time magazine. Rumors of trysts with strippers spread like wildfire. His coach badmouthed him in a tell-all book. And Kobe focused on basketball, and became obsessed with winning another championship. Many people doubted him, including me.
I said this one day: "Kobe Bryant will not win another championship."
I even said this: "Mark my words."
He's well on his way. I was dead wrong.
Other playoff ramblings:
- Boston and Detroit are obviously headed for another Game 7 showdown, which Boston will win because:
a) they have home court advantage,
b) Theo Ratliff, Jason Maxiell, and Rodney Stuckey are getting major playoff minutes for a banged up Detroit team, which actually isn't working out that badly for them, but seriously, give me a break, and
c) the league would do anything for a Celtics-Lakers final.
I hate using the "NBA is corrupt" line in this instance, but it's true. I know one person - ONE - who wants San Antonio to beat the Lakers, and based on what happened last night, he's up in arms about the league loving the Lakers, and they'll make so much money with a Boston/LA final, etc etc etc... and I can't really argue with him. Does that make me a hypocrite for being okay with corruption as long as the denouement benefits me, not to mention the vast majority of people who give a crap about basketball? Is my hatred of the Spurs so intense that it is affecting major internal organs? Am I a douchebag for using "denouement" as if I didn't have to look it up to read what it meant like everybody else?
- The thing is, with Doc Rivers, now that he's won the Coach of the Year award, and his team's one game away from the Finals... he will have a job forever, even if the Celtics realize he knows less about strategy than a relatively sturdy box of Cheez-its. He'll be riding this season out for twenty years. His tactical mistakes would be expected from a middle school JV team manager, if he (the team manager) was forced to take over coaching duties because the head coach got tossed. And by the way, if he's a Master Motivator (a great bureaucratic term for a boss of any kind if you don't know what they do, how they do it, or if they do it well), why can't he (Rivers) motivate Garnett to take over games? If, say, Richard Hamilton, for some reason, is checking Garnett, possibly because Flip Saunders is more focused on his post-game meal options, why can't he (Rivers again) get Garnett (Garnett) to destroy Hamilton by banging him down low and dunking on him every time? Sure, that's mainly Garnett being too unselfish, which is a legit complaint about him, but shouldn't Doc shoulder some of the blame as well?
- Why can't TNT and ESPN stream the games online for free? Why does the NCAA do it and the NBA can't? Why can I watch Lost for free online and I can't watch NBA basketball? Are NBA execs really ignorant enough to think that it wouldn't be a wise business decision to take advantage of the Internet to the full extent? At the very least, offer it for a monthly fee. It seems to me that more people would watch the games, and more people would be exposed to the advertising, and the NBA would become an even bigger force globally.
- How can Tyler Perry's House of Payne be the "highest rated show ever on cable television"? TNT actually used those words to describe the show the other night. Furthermore, who is Tyler Perry? Is he the dad in the show, or the creepy guy wearing a turtleneck who walks onto the screen at the end of the advertisements? Is he such a household name to the extent that anything he does now is preceded with his name, like the Sixth Sense guy? Don't people need to be responsible for something popular to earn name recognition? Ladies and Gentlemen, Tyler Hinds' and Kevin Thomas' Rip City Forever!
- On a similar note, my friend Travis has determined that the new Bill Engvall show looks like a "third-rate Home Improvement." I concur.
- I know, I know - the site looks like crap. Give me a few days, it will look better.
TJH
29 May 2008
28 May 2008
Thoughts on the Playoffs and Draft.
Here's a couple thoughts on everything from the Playoffs to the Draft...
-- I still don't see why everyone was so up in arms over Ime not remaining a Blazer. Yes, he is a decent shooter, but didn't I hear people talk about his defense, too? Has anyone seen him try to guard players that are even somewhat quick? Yikes. He might as well take a red cape out there and just ole' them to the basket.
-- How awesome is Chris Paul? Holy hell. Have you ever seen anyone throw more alley-oops that made you think, "Damn. That was a great play." Anyone? Usually when someone throws an alley you hold your breath a little and hope that someone can go up and get it. When Paul throws them you're like, "yep." If they can keep their core together, the Hornets are going to be the team to beat for a long time.
-- Who else wanted to vomit when Doc Rivers was named Coach of the YEAR?! Anyone, hands? Anyone? Really? I think I could've coached that team to 66 wins. 1 future Hall of Famer, 2 perennial All-Stars, and a handful of Vets who always show up on playoff teams if they can smell a ring? Even Mike Brown without LeBron could've won that many games. All the guy has to do is NOT find a way to fuck it up and they win.
Of course, now that their in the playoffs and Ray Allen is pulling a Kirilenko and Doc, "The great Motivator" according to some pundit on Jim Rome today, has no idea what to do with him, the Celtics look unbelievably beatable. The Hawks took you to 7 games. Come on.
Nate McMillan? Byron Scott? Hell, Maurice Cheeks? Any of those names and probably a few others should've won the award over Doc Rivers. The dude is the luckiest bastard in the league.
-- I just heard TJ Ford is on the trading block. You know the Blazers will be interested. I am torn on this one. He is really good, besides the fact that you don't actually have to guard him outside of the key, but, like all the rest of the players we have, he is constantly a risk for a career ending injury. I'm pretty sure we'll get him just because of that. He fits in with the culture of the team.
-- With the 13th pick in the Draft, the Portland Trailblazers select, JOE ALEXANDER! Believe it! Chad Ford thinks so, and after thinking about his game, he might actually fit in extremely well with our team. And how can you pass on a guy that has a scar on his head from hitting the rim? I mean really.
In all seriousness though, I am coming around to this kid from WV. I like any player that Bob Huggins had his hands on, at the very least you know they will play hard. And the dude can shoot the lights out, jump out of the gym, run like a gazelle, and has only been playing basketball for 1 month! Well, a little longer than that, but you get my drift.
-- Finally, If we don't solve our PG problem this summer, I am going to be pissed. PISSED I tell you. And don't you just have a sick feeling in your tummy that Rudy Fernandez is going to come to America until he is balding like Ginobli? I know I do.
I'm off to play NBA Live with my team built around Josh McRoberts. He's rated 89 in the game. The best player on the Blazers. He averaged 35 a game for me on the Grizz my first year. Don't worry about it. He's sick.
KT
-- I still don't see why everyone was so up in arms over Ime not remaining a Blazer. Yes, he is a decent shooter, but didn't I hear people talk about his defense, too? Has anyone seen him try to guard players that are even somewhat quick? Yikes. He might as well take a red cape out there and just ole' them to the basket.
-- How awesome is Chris Paul? Holy hell. Have you ever seen anyone throw more alley-oops that made you think, "Damn. That was a great play." Anyone? Usually when someone throws an alley you hold your breath a little and hope that someone can go up and get it. When Paul throws them you're like, "yep." If they can keep their core together, the Hornets are going to be the team to beat for a long time.
-- Who else wanted to vomit when Doc Rivers was named Coach of the YEAR?! Anyone, hands? Anyone? Really? I think I could've coached that team to 66 wins. 1 future Hall of Famer, 2 perennial All-Stars, and a handful of Vets who always show up on playoff teams if they can smell a ring? Even Mike Brown without LeBron could've won that many games. All the guy has to do is NOT find a way to fuck it up and they win.
Of course, now that their in the playoffs and Ray Allen is pulling a Kirilenko and Doc, "The great Motivator" according to some pundit on Jim Rome today, has no idea what to do with him, the Celtics look unbelievably beatable. The Hawks took you to 7 games. Come on.
Nate McMillan? Byron Scott? Hell, Maurice Cheeks? Any of those names and probably a few others should've won the award over Doc Rivers. The dude is the luckiest bastard in the league.
-- I just heard TJ Ford is on the trading block. You know the Blazers will be interested. I am torn on this one. He is really good, besides the fact that you don't actually have to guard him outside of the key, but, like all the rest of the players we have, he is constantly a risk for a career ending injury. I'm pretty sure we'll get him just because of that. He fits in with the culture of the team.
-- With the 13th pick in the Draft, the Portland Trailblazers select, JOE ALEXANDER! Believe it! Chad Ford thinks so, and after thinking about his game, he might actually fit in extremely well with our team. And how can you pass on a guy that has a scar on his head from hitting the rim? I mean really.
In all seriousness though, I am coming around to this kid from WV. I like any player that Bob Huggins had his hands on, at the very least you know they will play hard. And the dude can shoot the lights out, jump out of the gym, run like a gazelle, and has only been playing basketball for 1 month! Well, a little longer than that, but you get my drift.
-- Finally, If we don't solve our PG problem this summer, I am going to be pissed. PISSED I tell you. And don't you just have a sick feeling in your tummy that Rudy Fernandez is going to come to America until he is balding like Ginobli? I know I do.
I'm off to play NBA Live with my team built around Josh McRoberts. He's rated 89 in the game. The best player on the Blazers. He averaged 35 a game for me on the Grizz my first year. Don't worry about it. He's sick.
KT
13 May 2008
Qualified Nonsense
Tomorrow I turn 26 years old.
In those years I have learned that there are certain truisms that can be applied in each and every situation in life. Sometimes, the world can indeed be viewed in black and white.
For example, I have determined that women, after consumption of a fair amount of alcohol, are more likely to touch your leg.
This is a strategy that you can successfully employ if used under the right circumstances, much like missile defense systems of developed countries. Sometimes it even works if you have a bad haircut, or if your car is non-existent.
Another truism I have discovered is the phenomenon of completely unqualified people getting hired to high profile, high salary, "respectable" positions. Of course, I use "unqualified" in my own sense of the word, which leans towards the literal translation. For example, I take x-rays to support my bad habits, namely purchasing expensive musical instruments and buying women fair amounts of alcohol. It could be said that this is what I do for a "living". If I was bad at taking x-rays, I should be deemed "unqualified"... but we all should know that this wouldn't be the case, because I went to school and I have an official "license", printed on high quality (80% wood pulp) paper. It doesn't matter how good I am. To suggest that I would be unqualified would be asinine, because I own a piece of paper signed by a stranger with a confusing-but-official-sounding title, such as Secretary of the Interior.
Years ago I tried to take a music class at the college I was attending. I figured I met the prerequisites for the course, which was "previous experience in music", or something to that effect. I have been playing music since I was five, and it has pretty much consumed my life at times. That, to me, was experience. I went to class the first day and they wouldn't let me stay; I had taken no music classes previously, and so in their estimation, I had no musical experience. I was not a musician, and so much was communicated right to my face. As is my custom, I made a scene, and as I left in a huff I heard the snickering of the many "official" musicians, thinking how funny and quaint it was for somebody like me to pretend they knew one iota about music. "Hell," they reasoned, "he probably doesn't know his augmented eights from his pentatonic scale!"
This rings true even in the sports world. For some reason, the people running sports teams thinks there always is a very limited number of qualified coaches and executives. It's hard to get your foot in the door, because previous experience, regardless of the amount of success acheived in this experience, is always necessary. This results in the inevitable musical-chairs reference by me, and the sighting of numerous hilarious front-page entries stacked on top of each other on sports websites:
- Mavs and Avery Johnson part ways
- Knicks exec: "We want Avery!"
- Shawn Kemp found naked and homeless in Pittsburgh slum
- Suns may be interested in Avery Johnson
- Bulls prez: "Wait, do we have a coach yet?"
In Portland, Bob Whitsitt ran the team into the ground, and surprisingly the rest of the league paid heed; he has been out of the NBA since. But his assistant, Mark Warkentien, kept his head above water, and was hired by Denver in 2005... and look what happened. It's no surprise. It disappoints me, because I kinda like Denver, if only for their stylish uniforms. If you hire somebody who has proven to be an unequivocal failure in their profession, as they did with Warkentien, the honeymoon will not last long. The Nuggets are stocked with talent and should be competing for championships; instead, they barely made the playoffs this year, and the team has no conceivable chance to be competitive in the near future. Our friend Andy from Denver Stiffs explains:
"Prior to joining the Nuggets, Warkentien spent 10 years (1994-2004) with the Portland Trailblazers, first as a scout, then Director of Scouting, then Assistant General Manager and, finally, Director of Player Personnel. Working with "Trader Bob" Whitsitt, here’s a sampling of the players Warkentien was involved with in bringing to Portland during his tenure: Dontonio Wingfield, Rasheed Wallace, Isaiah Rider, Kenny Anderson, Damon Stoudamire, Bonzi Wells, Jim Jackson, Shawn Kemp, Rod Strickland, Zach Randolph, Ruben Patterson, Qyntel Woods, Jeff McInnis, Darius Miles and Sebastian Telfair.
All of these players had a few things in common: bad character, disturbing personal issues, problems with coaches and teammates, ran afoul of the law, or, in most cases, all of the above. Your Portland Jailblazers, ladies and gentlemen! I'm still in shock that Warkentien didn't recommend acquiring Roy Tarpley, Stephen Jackson and Latrell Sprewell while he was in the City of Roses."
Click here for the full text. NOTE: Warkentien is the fat guy who looks like Karl Rove's kid brother.
Other highlights of the coaching carousel:
- Me and my friend Seth were at a bar when we first heard of the D'Antoni signing on ESPN, and the only video clip they had was of him screaming at a referee as if he had just found out the ref played a prank on D'Antoni after he passed out by shaving off his moustache. My favorite part of the D'Antoni signing is just how little sense it makes on both sides: D'Antoni wants to run, and apparently he hasn't realized yet that Zach Randolph and Eddy Curry are both on his team... New York wanted a proven coach, and D'Antoni has no championships and nobody knows where, or if, he was coaching before he went to Phoenix. I don't necessarily think it was a bad hire, but I can't see him lasting more than two years, which is like the longest leash coaches have nowadays. Also, after watching the press conference, it seemed like D'Antoni was already defending his uptempo style and preparing for the media onslaught. It just seems like a bad fit.
- Speaking of the Knicks, they finally ran Isiah out of t-... okay, so he's still there, just not allowed to talk to anybody. Yes, that's the official word. Me and my friend Andy think he comes into his office each day and just stares at the wall until it's time to go home. Would anybody be surprised at this point? If New York's personnel decisions were put into the hands of a group of rhesus monkeys of average intelligence, and decisions could be based on random buttons they push on a switchboard, could they possibly end up with a worse team than they've had in the last two seasons? The Donnie Walsh hiring was not surprising, considering he didn't win a thing in Indiana and is older than coal. A prime candidate for an NBA front office gig, I suppose.
- The biggest loser? Probably Phoenix. Not because of D'Antoni, but because of the Shaq trade, Nash's aging body, and the sad end of the Phoenix era. Out of anybody, it was D'Antoni and Nash who spearheaded the renaissance of entertaining NBA basketball, leading it out of the doldrums of the unbearable mess that was the '90s. Sure, they were robbed of the championship last year, and even so, they came undeniably close, but close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and when you try to piss on your brother from the roof (because if you miss with the primary stream, some surely will splash onto his legs). At least that's what my dad tells me.
- This just in: Jerry Reinsdorf, majority owner of the Chicago Bulls, feels "misled" about the whole ordeal, what with Mike D'Antoni spurning his offer to coach his team. His feelings were hurt, and he claims to be "disappointed" about the whole sordid ordeal. Amen, brother. Reinsdorf, a former tax executive for the IRS who is believed to be worth a tad under $300 million, has been through the ringer on this one.
We here at Rip City Forever would like to extend our heartfelt condolences to the embattled executive. Here's to a full recovery.
TJH
In those years I have learned that there are certain truisms that can be applied in each and every situation in life. Sometimes, the world can indeed be viewed in black and white.
For example, I have determined that women, after consumption of a fair amount of alcohol, are more likely to touch your leg.
This is a strategy that you can successfully employ if used under the right circumstances, much like missile defense systems of developed countries. Sometimes it even works if you have a bad haircut, or if your car is non-existent.
Another truism I have discovered is the phenomenon of completely unqualified people getting hired to high profile, high salary, "respectable" positions. Of course, I use "unqualified" in my own sense of the word, which leans towards the literal translation. For example, I take x-rays to support my bad habits, namely purchasing expensive musical instruments and buying women fair amounts of alcohol. It could be said that this is what I do for a "living". If I was bad at taking x-rays, I should be deemed "unqualified"... but we all should know that this wouldn't be the case, because I went to school and I have an official "license", printed on high quality (80% wood pulp) paper. It doesn't matter how good I am. To suggest that I would be unqualified would be asinine, because I own a piece of paper signed by a stranger with a confusing-but-official-sounding title, such as Secretary of the Interior.
Years ago I tried to take a music class at the college I was attending. I figured I met the prerequisites for the course, which was "previous experience in music", or something to that effect. I have been playing music since I was five, and it has pretty much consumed my life at times. That, to me, was experience. I went to class the first day and they wouldn't let me stay; I had taken no music classes previously, and so in their estimation, I had no musical experience. I was not a musician, and so much was communicated right to my face. As is my custom, I made a scene, and as I left in a huff I heard the snickering of the many "official" musicians, thinking how funny and quaint it was for somebody like me to pretend they knew one iota about music. "Hell," they reasoned, "he probably doesn't know his augmented eights from his pentatonic scale!"
This rings true even in the sports world. For some reason, the people running sports teams thinks there always is a very limited number of qualified coaches and executives. It's hard to get your foot in the door, because previous experience, regardless of the amount of success acheived in this experience, is always necessary. This results in the inevitable musical-chairs reference by me, and the sighting of numerous hilarious front-page entries stacked on top of each other on sports websites:
- Mavs and Avery Johnson part ways
- Knicks exec: "We want Avery!"
- Shawn Kemp found naked and homeless in Pittsburgh slum
- Suns may be interested in Avery Johnson
- Bulls prez: "Wait, do we have a coach yet?"
In Portland, Bob Whitsitt ran the team into the ground, and surprisingly the rest of the league paid heed; he has been out of the NBA since. But his assistant, Mark Warkentien, kept his head above water, and was hired by Denver in 2005... and look what happened. It's no surprise. It disappoints me, because I kinda like Denver, if only for their stylish uniforms. If you hire somebody who has proven to be an unequivocal failure in their profession, as they did with Warkentien, the honeymoon will not last long. The Nuggets are stocked with talent and should be competing for championships; instead, they barely made the playoffs this year, and the team has no conceivable chance to be competitive in the near future. Our friend Andy from Denver Stiffs explains:
"Prior to joining the Nuggets, Warkentien spent 10 years (1994-2004) with the Portland Trailblazers, first as a scout, then Director of Scouting, then Assistant General Manager and, finally, Director of Player Personnel. Working with "Trader Bob" Whitsitt, here’s a sampling of the players Warkentien was involved with in bringing to Portland during his tenure: Dontonio Wingfield, Rasheed Wallace, Isaiah Rider, Kenny Anderson, Damon Stoudamire, Bonzi Wells, Jim Jackson, Shawn Kemp, Rod Strickland, Zach Randolph, Ruben Patterson, Qyntel Woods, Jeff McInnis, Darius Miles and Sebastian Telfair.
All of these players had a few things in common: bad character, disturbing personal issues, problems with coaches and teammates, ran afoul of the law, or, in most cases, all of the above. Your Portland Jailblazers, ladies and gentlemen! I'm still in shock that Warkentien didn't recommend acquiring Roy Tarpley, Stephen Jackson and Latrell Sprewell while he was in the City of Roses."
Click here for the full text. NOTE: Warkentien is the fat guy who looks like Karl Rove's kid brother.
Other highlights of the coaching carousel:
- Me and my friend Seth were at a bar when we first heard of the D'Antoni signing on ESPN, and the only video clip they had was of him screaming at a referee as if he had just found out the ref played a prank on D'Antoni after he passed out by shaving off his moustache. My favorite part of the D'Antoni signing is just how little sense it makes on both sides: D'Antoni wants to run, and apparently he hasn't realized yet that Zach Randolph and Eddy Curry are both on his team... New York wanted a proven coach, and D'Antoni has no championships and nobody knows where, or if, he was coaching before he went to Phoenix. I don't necessarily think it was a bad hire, but I can't see him lasting more than two years, which is like the longest leash coaches have nowadays. Also, after watching the press conference, it seemed like D'Antoni was already defending his uptempo style and preparing for the media onslaught. It just seems like a bad fit.
- Speaking of the Knicks, they finally ran Isiah out of t-... okay, so he's still there, just not allowed to talk to anybody. Yes, that's the official word. Me and my friend Andy think he comes into his office each day and just stares at the wall until it's time to go home. Would anybody be surprised at this point? If New York's personnel decisions were put into the hands of a group of rhesus monkeys of average intelligence, and decisions could be based on random buttons they push on a switchboard, could they possibly end up with a worse team than they've had in the last two seasons? The Donnie Walsh hiring was not surprising, considering he didn't win a thing in Indiana and is older than coal. A prime candidate for an NBA front office gig, I suppose.
- The biggest loser? Probably Phoenix. Not because of D'Antoni, but because of the Shaq trade, Nash's aging body, and the sad end of the Phoenix era. Out of anybody, it was D'Antoni and Nash who spearheaded the renaissance of entertaining NBA basketball, leading it out of the doldrums of the unbearable mess that was the '90s. Sure, they were robbed of the championship last year, and even so, they came undeniably close, but close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and when you try to piss on your brother from the roof (because if you miss with the primary stream, some surely will splash onto his legs). At least that's what my dad tells me.
- This just in: Jerry Reinsdorf, majority owner of the Chicago Bulls, feels "misled" about the whole ordeal, what with Mike D'Antoni spurning his offer to coach his team. His feelings were hurt, and he claims to be "disappointed" about the whole sordid ordeal. Amen, brother. Reinsdorf, a former tax executive for the IRS who is believed to be worth a tad under $300 million, has been through the ringer on this one.
We here at Rip City Forever would like to extend our heartfelt condolences to the embattled executive. Here's to a full recovery.
TJH
04 May 2008
Playoff Update
Hello again.
We haven't written for a while. The reason was simple:
After the Blazers chances at the playoffs were finally squelched, nothing original could be said about the team anymore. Our opinion about the team is pretty much in line with what everybody else believes at this point. The Blazers had a great season, all things considered. We are salivating at the prospect of adding Oden and Fernandez to the team next year, and the possibility of trading Jarrett Jack to JC Penney for a matching set of Barcaloungers. I'm happy with the direction of the team and I genuinely believe we will win a championship in the next ten years, something that I haven't been able to admit since Bob Whitsitt's reign of terror started in the early '90s.
And so on.
Also, for me at least, I wanted to sit back and try to enjoy the playoffs as much as possible, which would have been hard enough even without worrying about trying to be witty writing for a blog that nobody reads anyways. I have been working damn near 80 hours a week since Spring Break, but that number is deceiving, because half of those hours are spent sitting in a room where I can position myself in front of a glass partition that overlooks a hospital waiting room. In this waiting room is a television, and so I can follow the playoffs at least from a distance, until the overweight middle aged woman waddles over to the television and invariably changes the channel to Everybody Loves Raymond.
Some thoughts on the playoffs thus far:
- It makes me so happy watching San Antonio lose. Just seeing their dejected faces and their heads hung low consistently rejuvenates me, not only as a basketball fan, but as somebody who has faith in the inherent goodness of mankind. Last night's game proved that San Antonio is in serious trouble, which leads me to believe that anybody claiming this Spurs team to be dynastic has an IQ less than sand.
I was talking to this guy at a bar the other day, and we were talking basketball, and we start talking about the Suns/Spurs series and how disappointing it was, and he tells me, with hushed voice, that, "you know, I just really don't like the Spurs." Of course you don't! You don't have to be ashamed! You're a living, breathing human being with a capacity for kindness and understanding! People who support the Spurs are the same people who root for the Nazis in old World War II movies, and the same people who strap explosives to cats for fun.
- Speaking of the Suns/Spurs series, it's just painfully obvious what went wrong: they traded for a washed up 36-year-old Shaq who can't run and can't shoot. That's basically it. They would have had a fighting chance in the series if they won Game 1, but even if they somehow got past the Spurs, there was no way that team was making the Finals. I think it's worth mentioning that now they're saddled with Shaq's terrible contract for a couple more years and there is a growing chasm between management and the coaching staff, Phoenix will be irrevelant for the next five years. And for a Blazers supporter, that's a great thing to hear.
- Cleveland/Washington was a fun series to watch, if only to see how much physical punishment LeBron could take before murdering DeShawn Stevenson with his bare hands. The best part of the whole series for me was in Game 6, late in the game, LeBron drives to the hoop and is essentially tackled by Roger Mason. As he falls to the floor he throws the ball behind his back and it goes in. The refs call the foul and LeBron silently walks to the line, without acknowledging Mason or the referees, and drains the free throw. Then the camera pans to a fan, who happens to be white and fat, with a shirt that says "LEBRON = CRYBABY", who is chanting with everybody else in the arena, "Over-rated!"
The scary thing is that Cleveland is in exactly the same position as last season, with LeBron playing at a level better than maybe anybody ever in history, and the rest of the Cavs playing at a level maybe a bit higher than the Washington Generals. That said, and given Boston and Detroit's relative struggles with their easy first round matchups, Cleveland could repeat as Eastern Conference Champs, which is as unlikely as Pearl Jam putting out a great album... and then putting out another great album the next year.
- Still, we have a chance at the Lakers/Boston Finals matchup every human being with a pulse is praying for. Of course, I guess we also could have Spurs/Pistons, which would just further alienate the viewing public from watching basketball and giving it the respect it deserves. The NBA's reputation hangs in the balance, and no matter how crazy it sounds, it just might take Kobe Bryant and the Lakers to restore the NBA's glory.
All for now. We'll be keeping the site up, although we won't be updating nearly as often as before. Some new projects are on the horizon, so keep your eyes peeled and spread the word.
TJH
We haven't written for a while. The reason was simple:
After the Blazers chances at the playoffs were finally squelched, nothing original could be said about the team anymore. Our opinion about the team is pretty much in line with what everybody else believes at this point. The Blazers had a great season, all things considered. We are salivating at the prospect of adding Oden and Fernandez to the team next year, and the possibility of trading Jarrett Jack to JC Penney for a matching set of Barcaloungers. I'm happy with the direction of the team and I genuinely believe we will win a championship in the next ten years, something that I haven't been able to admit since Bob Whitsitt's reign of terror started in the early '90s.
And so on.
Also, for me at least, I wanted to sit back and try to enjoy the playoffs as much as possible, which would have been hard enough even without worrying about trying to be witty writing for a blog that nobody reads anyways. I have been working damn near 80 hours a week since Spring Break, but that number is deceiving, because half of those hours are spent sitting in a room where I can position myself in front of a glass partition that overlooks a hospital waiting room. In this waiting room is a television, and so I can follow the playoffs at least from a distance, until the overweight middle aged woman waddles over to the television and invariably changes the channel to Everybody Loves Raymond.
Some thoughts on the playoffs thus far:
- It makes me so happy watching San Antonio lose. Just seeing their dejected faces and their heads hung low consistently rejuvenates me, not only as a basketball fan, but as somebody who has faith in the inherent goodness of mankind. Last night's game proved that San Antonio is in serious trouble, which leads me to believe that anybody claiming this Spurs team to be dynastic has an IQ less than sand.
I was talking to this guy at a bar the other day, and we were talking basketball, and we start talking about the Suns/Spurs series and how disappointing it was, and he tells me, with hushed voice, that, "you know, I just really don't like the Spurs." Of course you don't! You don't have to be ashamed! You're a living, breathing human being with a capacity for kindness and understanding! People who support the Spurs are the same people who root for the Nazis in old World War II movies, and the same people who strap explosives to cats for fun.
- Speaking of the Suns/Spurs series, it's just painfully obvious what went wrong: they traded for a washed up 36-year-old Shaq who can't run and can't shoot. That's basically it. They would have had a fighting chance in the series if they won Game 1, but even if they somehow got past the Spurs, there was no way that team was making the Finals. I think it's worth mentioning that now they're saddled with Shaq's terrible contract for a couple more years and there is a growing chasm between management and the coaching staff, Phoenix will be irrevelant for the next five years. And for a Blazers supporter, that's a great thing to hear.
- Cleveland/Washington was a fun series to watch, if only to see how much physical punishment LeBron could take before murdering DeShawn Stevenson with his bare hands. The best part of the whole series for me was in Game 6, late in the game, LeBron drives to the hoop and is essentially tackled by Roger Mason. As he falls to the floor he throws the ball behind his back and it goes in. The refs call the foul and LeBron silently walks to the line, without acknowledging Mason or the referees, and drains the free throw. Then the camera pans to a fan, who happens to be white and fat, with a shirt that says "LEBRON = CRYBABY", who is chanting with everybody else in the arena, "Over-rated!"
The scary thing is that Cleveland is in exactly the same position as last season, with LeBron playing at a level better than maybe anybody ever in history, and the rest of the Cavs playing at a level maybe a bit higher than the Washington Generals. That said, and given Boston and Detroit's relative struggles with their easy first round matchups, Cleveland could repeat as Eastern Conference Champs, which is as unlikely as Pearl Jam putting out a great album... and then putting out another great album the next year.
- Still, we have a chance at the Lakers/Boston Finals matchup every human being with a pulse is praying for. Of course, I guess we also could have Spurs/Pistons, which would just further alienate the viewing public from watching basketball and giving it the respect it deserves. The NBA's reputation hangs in the balance, and no matter how crazy it sounds, it just might take Kobe Bryant and the Lakers to restore the NBA's glory.
All for now. We'll be keeping the site up, although we won't be updating nearly as often as before. Some new projects are on the horizon, so keep your eyes peeled and spread the word.
TJH
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